As we (a home group under the leadership of Brent Bell), Hammer Delt, seek to establish community within the Village body, I have made a few observations that have saddened me. I'd like your feedback on the thoughts. Keep in mind that these observations have been made short term, and without the knowledge of things to come.
1) A few weeks ago, I was invited to join "The Cove", a gmail group put on by some of our peers at the church. I don't know how many people are on the mailing list, but I would guess around 150. Just to cut to the chase, the majority of the conversation going back and forth is either a) not glorifying to God, and b) arguing to no end about things that make little to no impact on anyone's walk with Christ (make no mistake, stubborness and pride have a major part in this). Some of the "rhetoric and Christianese" (copyright Shanks, 2007) that is passed back and forth makes my head hurt, and totally boggles the little understanding I have in God. But isn't that the point of it? To lean not on my own understanding and to just simply trust in God? So why is so much time wasted on trying to figure out things that can only be given peace through prayer and application?
2) It seems we (read: Josh) have picked up more bad habits from others than we have actually shared good habits. This is directly referring to the sarcasm bit. Just this past Friday night, I found myself dogging the Prez, even after he called me out on it in public!! It wasn't done in hate or malice. I definitely don't think that we have reached some magical level in our relationship where it makes it okay to say things like that, even in jest. Why did I suddenly start doing that, especially when I make it a point to call others out on it? Is it the speck/plank corrolation? Thoughts please.
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Hmm...it dawns on me as I re-read this post for the first time in a week, that much has transpired between now and then and has already been addresses either in person or email. But for the sake of record, I'll try and place my thoughts (questionable as they may be at times) ;)
Let's Tarantino it and start from the back.
(2) I think speck/plank is more about correction without love. [But correct me in love if I'm wrong] It also seems to be pointing to those who are oblivious to their own faults. So here, I think you're aware you have the ability to struggle with this, too, yet want to be able to help others. Not out of righteous indignation, but a genuine concern for your brothers and wanting the body of Christ to be as healthy as possible.
Think of it from Matt's standpoint (or even that of a counselor), he doesn't help once he no longer struggles with the same thing. In fact, I would submit that many times it is the opposite. That it's *because* he struggles with it that he longs to help out with it. That he can relate personally, tell tales, share guidance along the way of something he's all too familiar with.
As far as specifically why it's happened...I dunno. Because we sin. And this is one that's gotten a lot of discussion/thought time recently in our groups and the very sins we are sure we'll never commit, are the ones we have a lower guard against many times, and can therefore easily slip in (at times). Don't get beat up over it. Apologize, correct (i.e. repent), and move on.
Like I've said many times, our group certainly has the capacity to fall into this trap (especially as we get to know each other more). It's the way of our culture and it's hard to stand contrary to that. It's something we have to pray and fight for.
Here's the way I try and picture it. Instead of spending so much time praying against the negative, lets pray/imagine the positive. Picture the group being a place where you feel cared for and uplifted every time you hang out. Not that you're dependent on us for feeling good [that would be situation specific and not healthy] but an environment where people genuinely care. Where we're so busy pushing into each other and helping out and building up, that there's simply not time/space/room for harmful words to escape. There are too many awesome things/jokes to laugh at that ones that make fun of people fall by the way side.
Utopian? Maybe. Worth fighting for? Absolutely!
(1) I'm green to the Cove, so I think my view's a little different at this point. I think (again, ideally) that it's a place to have fun, but to gain wisdom and pick each others brains much like this very blog. Playing advocate: how is that discussion any different than Tuesday night, or even listening to Chandler? I listen/talk to learn and hopefully pray/read over what transpires to find the truth.
I don't know how many of those posting are honestly open to correction and learning from others, but then, I guess I can't really control that either. [Side question: Is that fully up to the Spirit to guide and correct, or am I at some point called to step in and mention it (in love)?]
Those that are speaking just to be heard and thought of as knowledgeable get there reward in full, correct? We wish otherwise, we desire for them to speak in love, but know, too, that it's not going to always happen. Don't spin your wheels over soil that is poor. (unless God's given you a heart for that).
Are there any thoughts on this? Am I off base and calloused?
I guess if it bothers you too much, don't subject yourself to it. If every time I go to a party, I leave depressed because of low self confidence. Then I just need to not go to the party.
If you're weeping over Jerusalem, by all means weep! But if you're just frustrated that this world seems somehow broken...well...it is.
Tangent-ish: Don't concern yourself with things that are not in your control. I can't say "I'm gonna make it rain today" I want it to rain, sure (sorry John), but no amount of effort on my part is going to change whether it will or won't. So I desire rain, I pray for rain, but I'm gonna spend my energy/worry on something that won't make me go insane trying to control [when I can't]
*whew*...that was long. Hopefully there's actually some stuff of God mixed in here. Secondary to that, I hope some of it actually hits on stuff you asked about :-P
Addendum to (2) Above:
This is taken as a point from Part 7 of the Ecclesiasties series.
"What do you do in that moment where you wake up and everything your profess to believe seems so far from you? "
"What do you do when you know the right answer, but it's not enough?"
"You'll even be able to help other people out that are in the same scenario as you with advice that's supposed to set them free, despite the fact that it's done nothing for you?"
"What do you do when you have sin you can't shake? What do you do when you have the right answers, but it does nothing for your heart? Where do we go? Because if we sat down and talked to someone, they're just going to tell us the answers that we already know, aren't they? That was my experience. I would unpack it and just wait to hear what I knew was coming next. And then, sometimes I would tell them the book they got that from. “Oh, Max Lucado fan. Excellent.” So, what do we do? How do we approach God in those moments?"
He's talking more about being in the desert here, but I think it's every bit as applicable to the current question. I think there are times we know the truth even if we are currently unable to work in into our own lives. It doesn't make it less true.
Again I refer to the heart. Set your feet towards God. Make sure your approach is loving. We can do nothing of our own. No matter how "good" we are, it still has to be Christ that works through us. We don't reach a point where suddenly we have it together enough to be able to help others. Still desire to correct your own life. Once more, I believe the speck/log is more about judging than correcting...thoughts?
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